Case in point.
Without going into details...I decided it was time to change the seat.
A normal person could probably complete this job in 5-6 minutes. It took me 40.
I growled and snarled. I broke into a sweat and shed layers of clothing. I sent Belle for a screwdriver. I thought bad words.
It required Tilex, Lysol, Clorox wipes...and had I been thinking properly...a pair of those gloves that go up to your shoulders like the vets use when a cow births a calf.
Which brings up my next point...
Why can't boys (ALL ages included) pee IN the toilet?????
Oh. My. Word. Soooooooooo gross.
It's not like I'm asking them to pee into a soup can from 20 paces. It's a toilet. The opening is approximately 11" x 14" in an ovally kind of way. No rocket science involved. You AIM. You SHOOT. You SCORE.
I manage to get the old seat off. Yuck. Do the cleaning. Super yuck.
I get the new seat on (3 tries...didn't have the washer thingy in the right place)...stand back to admire my work...and.........................................:
Public Service Announcement:
BEFORE you install your new toilet seat, make sure you have the right shaped toilet seat.
Because evidently, there's just not one standard sized toilet seat. OH. NO.
I knew there was wood vs. something else.
I knew there were the squishy ones (weird).
I knew there were different colors.
There was even a clear acrylic one with rubber ducks on it.
No. I choose (what I THINK is) the normal, will fit my toilet toilet seat. And it's not.
Turns out it WILL fit the toilet in the other bathroom. So I get to change ANOTHER one.
My husband proclaims that the shower drain is slow, and can I please do the unclogger stuff while he's gone. (He and Shelby are in Mexico on a mission trip with some people from church.)
He SAYS there's long hair clogging his shower drain, while giving me the stink-eye.
I remind him that I take baths.
Then he accuses the girls.
I remind him that they use the shower in our bathroom MAYBE once every 2 months.
Then he says they were long, blonde hairs...and insists it cannot possibly be his fault the shower drain is slow.
So I cleaned and Dran-O'd the *@!# shower.
And I'm just saying right now...Teresa Collins...you better stop sneaking over to my house and using the shower.
Because, you know...that's the only other logical explanation.
It's my mom's birthday today.
And I feel bad that I'm blogging about her birthday and the toilet in the same post.
I love you mom.
Can't wait for the pizza party to celebrate! :)